Ideal woman Vs Ideal Man (Part I)

Ideal Man: There were times where woman could cook and ideally were great wives. These days She just pokes her food around the plate and hide things under her knife and claim to have a thousand intolerances and allergies

Ideal Woman: It is not that the women of these days have forgotten to cook or have stopped being that great wife it is just that they are not being noticed. There is always a work around and as said a little attention!!

Ideal Man: Only women have “careers” and Men have jobs to earn and if we could stop and have babies while someone else earn, believe me, we would.

Ideal Woman: We don’t need a “career” to feel validated. We don’t want to feel validated. And about babies, having to be pregnant for 9 months and then giving birth is more painful than getting your balls kicked. We can be pregnant again can you for another kick?

..

Ideal Woman: You guys have a checklist. High heels, perfect figure and whatnot and the list does'nt include the cooking abilities. 

Ideal man: Proficient deployment of glamorous high heels is altitude slickness, an attitude. Short skirts are her independence and display her courage that she can carry herself around. Her cooking ability is immaterial as long as she delights in her food.

Ideal man: you guys prefer men with money and other luxuries.

Ideal woman: Money is a ‘self-made’ statement and is an ‘can take care of anything you need' attitude.

…

Rajesh R. Vaddiparthy: You bozos screw your idealism and the life spent trying to find ‘em. Having a checklist will get you nowhere. You will be foolishly harbouring a romantic ideal to be marooned with no one but yourself to live with.

And if you may just ask What’s wrong with high aspiration? Always remember to have high aspirations, moderate expectations and small needs.

Blog of fame (and damn, it ain’t so any more)

Well the journey started for fame and here it is ending up for the dames and about dames, Damn the fame.

For all of who, who haven’t been through what I have been well here’s my finger; assume it showing you a direction or just an attitude.

Damn, anything for these dames.

For being straight and talking straight has led me straight to a point where being straight is not so straight anymore. Right here but not straight anymore.

Damn the fame (again)

Fighting through the times I thought would find what is right, but damn me and I only blame myself and my quest for fame.

Damn the games.

Tame the fame and the dames will follow and this I thought would be nothing but a game, which has now turned out to be so lame.

Damn the dames and the fame.

Damn ’it If you don't like the above, well i like the word damn and so DAMN YOU

The curious case of being a man (damn this is hard)

My previous posts for sure would have seen some raise their eyebrows, bro I get it I now have to write some facts and factoids about us gender. Well to start with I know that I have now stopped making sense for how can you write something about your ‘selves’.

To start with we are not as complex a being as women are; we are simple, fun loving and yet stupid enough to fall for trivial whimsical temptations created and posed before us by the complex opposite. Can’t help but to go there all of the times.

Anyways, now to the case of WE being WE. (Gee here we go)

What makes a man vulnerable? Well shouldn’t we say this to be the most debated and yet openly known fact. We fall for everything from an apple from a tree to the falling stars from the sky. Just some gravitational pull and voila there we fall. How stupid can we be of the known facts and yet fall with all glory. We dumb nuts still don’t have a clue.

What hurts a man’s ego? Shouldn’t you know it by now that an equivalent and opposite ego not just hurts but also punctures it. As is quipped, there can only be one beast in the wild and the emergence of the women kind suddenly started to pose threat. Even as the debate on equality runs amok and among should we not just accept the fact that their gender is superior than ours. Well dude, life in harmony is existence of co-ed existence without much of resistance. ;)

What makes a man being called a dog? Well for starters only a bitch can recognise a dog and chillax bud the word dog is less derogatory than bitch.

(no offence but just for giggles) Ok ok understanding why a man acts like a dog and always is on a hunt. Well I bloody well don’t know for am a man too.

Now to the serious stuff that defines and makes a man who he is, egoistic chauvinistic and oh yeah a pervert (for those who very well know the truth this is only fiction)

Men who tell themselves that "they're the man" in the early stages of a relationship. And they are (no qualms about it). The first stages of dating is full of masculinity: you've got the girl, you take her out, impress her, ward off rival males... you are James Bond (well you F’ ing idiot you still work for her majesty).

Men who after a while, feel dominated by the more feminine emotions: like inclination towards her feelings, caring for her and sharing moments and the quiet nights. Seem to assume that they are giving way to becoming her girlfriend in men's clothing. (Lucky those who are cross dressers and fuck those who aren’t). Well you jerk the mantra here is adaptability and not the change of your gender.

Why men try and control emotions: The new sensitive man is a modern construct. Throughout history, men didn't weep over flowers and sunsets; we used to be strong, rational and full of restraint. It's worked for millions of years, and it still works now. (bullshit this is no modern construction but is a pure destruction and we still don’t get it)

Why men try so hard at being decisive: Well this is a tricky topic and profoundly not my muse. When a man finds that fewer decisions are being made by him while the majority by the opposite, he suddenly freaks out as you very well know the ability of women drivers and so he tries to take the reins again. Just as always he goes by the very popular stupid belief that being decisive puts him in the driver’s seat. And show her he ain’t afraid to step up and look after her. (Well we iconic super idiots never want to know the view from the seat next to the driver)

Why men try to be Independent Independence is a must. Being the man means keeping your independence while sharing everything is suffocating. Keep your own independent existence by having activities that are separate from her. I don’t know but being dependent is also a complaint from women who don’t always prefer to have men who follow them and are dependent on them and yet still make a fuss on we being independent. I surely must miss this topic rather get tangled in confusion. (hope i make some sense at least by now)

Remember the old cliché, boys will be boys and hell ya we will be. All of you out there know that ‘You are the Man’. (my ass we very well are the ass around)

Sutras for the Married Kind.

Through the ages undefined and on pages uncounted for, man has always tried to solve the jinx and fix this complication called marriage.

For the Starters and much before we continue with the post, please do not just FOLLOW me BORROW me.

Accept the inalienable truth that ‘Age and wedlock tame even a wildest man’. So don’t be surprised or perplexed by the way your life has turned after getting married, live on dude you have company.


For Appetisers we have a few FACTS and for Main Course a few ACTS that can help us salvage the remnants.


Fact # 1. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first ring, and then you wake up. Surprised but it is like a dream which you only can dare to have in the nights for day dreaming ‘also’ can leave you seeking mental asylum.
Fact # 2. Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. Live with the fact that it is you who always have to give and also end up taken from.
Fact # 3. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Still the best kept secret.
Now that we know that WEDLOCK is indeed a LOCK till the END (may God have mercy) let us try unlock and continue to live under the assumption that light at the end of the tunnel will soon be switched on, just waiting for her.

Till then the below
Sutra # 1. Compromising does not mean you are wrong & your wife is right, it only means that safety of your head is much more important than your ego.
Sutra # 2. To win a fight in a ring, you should be a good wrestler. But to win a fight with a ring on your MIDDLE finger, you must be a good loser.
Sutra # 3. Realize and digest the fact that once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers. But now they DRINK like their fathers. So ALWAYS be prepared who knows she might even outrun you it is in their BLOOD.
Sutra # 4. Why Sex? Isn't Love enough, Isn’t love in the air? "Air is everywhere, But numb nut we still need a fricking fan to feel it". Get on with it and much before anything know that ‘You might be the one wearing the pants in your family but it is your wife who controls the zipper!’
Sutra # 5. The capacity of survival is not just being vigour but staying safe even of the rigorous times. Use a rubber else bear the thudded.
Sutra # 6. If things go wrong and you contemplate SUICIDE, plan it in a way where you jump from HER EGO level to your [IQ] level.
Sutra # 7. The 7 year itch. When something itches you scratch which is natural but moron this is not about sex but a warning that the expiration date of your relationship is nearing and you need to have a fresh prescription or even change the doctor.
Sutra # 8. Just cos she drinks more than you doesn’t mean you deprive her of booze, you twit know that one such global poll revealed that women are impressed when her guy offers them wine on a date. Just to let you know a date with a non-alcoholic drink is like a porn movie playing on the radio even while the actress is sitting right before you. All of this for the talk that is after. ;)
Sutra # 9. Remember, Nothing is prewritten and nothing can be re-written. So just live with what you have rather cavein with your cravings, just understand that a sunset here is sunrise on the other end of the world! What appears to be the end may actually be a new beginning!
Sutra # 10. Always be interactive than reactive. Just for the starters Study shows that a normal Indian Man speaks only for 34mins to his wife in a week. For I agree how long does it take to say, YES, NO or Hmm. For the late starters am talking abt talking talk and not fighting talk.
All being said and made fun of, marriage as a relationship is a union heading for disaster if both the individuals have a mindset of only wanting to take and not give. It's as predictable as the darkness after sunset.
Thus and without much of fuss get on with it and venture into the darkness (may god be with you). he he.