Men Vs. Women, anyone?

We all have often but carefully chose to tread the path that defines who we are as men and women, what we want from each other and what we understand of. To which some of us including me have found a profound liking to, a blame i take upon myself but let us have an honest retrospection on why we are made this way.

Men and women through ages have constantly criticized and ridiculed each other engaging in many maneuvers which have if not entirely resulted in exasperating people like me. So I refrain from commenting on any such representations carried through time but would like to refute the basis on which they are made.

So is it that men hate women and vice versa?

To start with let us understand what it is when people use statements like “women are a lot more complicated than men” a serious nonsense I say but I have my own take on it though. To all of such fools “Men are just as complicated” are we all not forgetting being fed statements such as “men are simplistic fools who exist to be told what to do, and women are the complex, entitled princesses of the universe” all through childhood. But seriously, why can’t there be an equal take on the both genders which is found missing in every sphere of our lives.

Anyways coming to arguments where we have men not trusting women and women not trusting men for whatever the reason they have found compelling, we should all know that opinions when put on debate can attract some disenfranchised people.

So you may get a few people who lurk in these places just wanting everyone to know how evil women are and also women with opinions vice versa. We should all remember that not everyone is a rocket scientist, and henceforth we will have some people who have a limited capacity for relationship success. By nature of their genetic disposition, their temperament and their upbringing they will choose people who may be similarly dysfunctional and start relationships. These will inevitably be problem ridden or unsuccessful. After repeated failures they will start to take aim at the whole opposite sex, expressing their disappointment at their own failures by blaming others and no matter what, we cannot talk them out of it.

So how complicated are we when it comes to understanding each other. Putting it simple “A man’s brain is like a waffle. Integrated squares, where there is a clear route from one idea to the next. A woman’s brain is like, (wait a second I love pasta) a bowl of spaghetti, one idea goes off into many tangents and there is no clear route or outcome”.

In a general perspective sitting myself outside of the men vs. women “war” the overriding impression I get is that both the men and women have simply given up on their respective opposites with never ending hounding and confusion prevailing among them for so many years. They are horribly lost by the endless, conflicting messages of expectations.

If not anything, let us first try and understand why it is that men hate women and the next? Exploring the few nuances some women seem to be dead-set on putting their men down, trying to change them, making them give-up on a few choices, take up new ones and so.

Women dominate emotional situations. Women know, are taught, and even study insipid ways of manipulating situations in their favour. For an example when women say “You never make me feel special”, or “You do not buy me presents or make me feel special at random” it does not mean that they never feel special, just that they don’t feel special now, and need to make absolutes to get what they want.

Women know the power and control they have and most of them love to abuse it (not just use it). Sometimes it is amazing to let your man take charge. Perhaps a guy would do more random special things if he felt like he was allowed to have his balls back and be a man.

Having said the above does not in anyways take the blame away from men. Men are hated for most of them are just as lazy as hell, major procrastinators; they do nothing but sit on the couch and watch the house crumble around them but simply won’t do anything.

Men are no lesser saints here, trying to assume the infused machoism and act insensitive or being ignorant of the basic emotional needs of the opposite sex. Their incapacitating tendencies of taking her for granted, assuming that now that she is his there is nothing to be done but sit back and enjoy the show.

With nothing more to but only reasons to all these clichés have men considered as subservient idiots who always forget important occasions and focus on sports or hobbies and while women are considered as always nagging domineering and manipulative ones who whilst just wanting to be cuddled, will decline a cuddle to say “you’re just doing that because I am upset”.

Having to said all of the above am but now let to the make below point of note
All of this might sound as having fun or is it that it is really riddled with anger towards the opposite sex, which  again I leave for the reader to ponder on. Men Vs. Women someone please.

What women want from their men? (understanding how to understand her)

Being a mountaineer doesn't mean you have the ability or skill to scale the Mt. Everest, being a deep sea diver doesn't necessarily mean you can dive through Marina trench. Having the ability to interpret if not understand something or someone doesn't mean you have mastered it.

So does this blog, having to write some facts about women doesn't mean that the author has solved the jinx that woman is. She still remains to be the most important subject of discussion with inconclusive references from countless attempts that are through ages in understanding who she is and what she actually wants from her men.

Having said that, it should be considered that right from the times of Adam and Eve to the times now, women have always been seen as the complex being to be around with, always coined as an enigma from Venus. Through the ages innumerable they always were misunderstood and misinterpreted.

So who is a she? What does she actually want? (This is but a feeble attempt to know who she is). What defines her and what makes her?

A woman is a mother, she will love you like one, she might also trouble you and demand pampering like a daughter, she will sometimes take care of you like a girlfriend, understand you like a friend, support you like a wife and look up to you like a sister, she is a force to reckon with when angered. she is all that and much more.

Below are a few pointers that a woman wants us ‘Men’ to understand of her

•             All women love pampering. However much they deny it, the bottom line is they love it.

•             All women want their man to be self-sufficient'. They prefer us to be ‘The One’ for them.

•             Some women might be career-oriented, but would still want us to take care of them which doesn't mean she can't. She also would like to contribute some percentage in helping us run the house. So let her.

•             A Woman’s career is as important to them as is ours to us. Better respect that.

•             Whenever a woman says ‘Fine’ something is damn very well not fine and when they say, ‘nothing’, there is always something to discuss.  Giving up on asking is not at all a good option.

•             Women sometimes might want us to understand things without they actually expressing it or without we asking about them. Probing to understand her is always good.

•             Women might get attracted towards our bad-boy image that is because they believe they can change that into a good-boy.

•             Women are emotional. They think from their heart and in the process get hurt very often. They want us to be the one who will never hurt them.

•             Women do not like criticism, better if not to keep it to the minimum. Do not criticize; their cooking skills (they are not trying to compete with our mom’s cooking), their driving, their electrical or electronic skills et al.

•             Women hate being lied to. Do not ever lie to avoid confrontations, do not ever omit or hide details (it is also construed as a lie).

•             Women and their mood swings don't just happen during 'that' time of the month, they can happen anytime, anywhere and the sooner we learn to identify them the better it is for us and it always helps to agree with them during those times.

•             Women always want to be part of our lives and it is better to understand that. When they ask how was our day, ‘fine’ is never the answer to give they expect to hear details.

•             Women also need their girls' night out. They gossip. They bitch. They drink. They even abuse. Better get over it.

•             When a woman says Yes, she means Maybe. When she says No, she means Maybe. When she says Maybe, she means No. And all of that is expected to be understood, they can’t help it they are programmed that way.

•             Women too like being chased and wooed but not stalked and do not appreciate we crossing the line here. Adopting crappy and cheesy lines to get to her are an absolute no-no.

•             Women do not consider looks as important but that doesn't mean they are blind and have no sense of smell. Always ensure to look and smell good.

•             Women like men with manners, etiquette and chivalry while vulgarity and cheapness are meant for us boys night out. Make efforts to keep it that way.

•             Women get jealous. It is always good to maintain one arm distance with the fairer sex which they approve as an appropriate distance.

•             When women are silent, better go through every conversation that has happened in the near past to figure out where we went wrong.

•             Women prefer us helping them in the house. Good to extend a helping hand every now and then.

•             Women prefer us being cutely jealous but not obsessively possessive. Do not cross that line.

•             Women have good memory, they not only remember important dates and events but also every conversation they have had with us. So it is better to not refer to any old argument. It is for our own good.

•             A woman wants commitment; not inking-their-names-on-our-body kinds but a promise that she is and will be the most important person in our life.

•             Women have quite a few close and costly friends; Diamonds are their best friends while chocolates, shoes, bags, dresses, perfumes, make-up are their other close friends.

•             Women love shopping and taking them out for shopping is the best medicine to cheer them up – ALMOST ALWAYS!

•             Women like being lazy too so don’t expect them to be dolled up all the time with manicured hands and perfect hairstyle.

•             Women take hours to dress up which eventually for us men, they expect a better response and acknowledgement in return than 'you look good.' or 'are you done yet?'

The above I call is just the tip of the ice berg, trying to unravel the mystery that she is needs years of dedicated husbandry and a great sense of details.

Disclaimer: An attempt henceforth made from the above should be referred to as only an attempt but not a survivor’s guide in your daily lives with women. 

What Men Want (an untouched and ignored subject)?

From the times unknown to the times now, we ‘men’ have always wandered along the paths of uncertainly to understand ‘what a women want’ so little was its success that a very few embraced it while the rest continued to lurk in the darkness getting lost completely. While the very subject continues to be elusive there are not many women who actually have set out to understand ‘what we as men want’, very rare are such instances where such a thought process was initiated.

Having to come from such an ignored class or gender that always has been at the receiving end I would want to throw some light on how simple a creation we are and how easy are we to be interpreted.

The below gives a brief introduction to all the women who always have wondered what we want but never understood us.

To start with we are simple creatures yet live to expect the very the basics from life

• - We have at least once in our lifetime have dream't of marrying a rich girl and becoming a house husband. We also sometimes wish are born as a woman. We love staying home.
• - We want to date the hottest girl in town but would want to marry the one who can cook. We love home cooked food.
• - We love our mothers and will remain mama's boys... forever.  The sooner you accept it, the happier you'll be. Never come between a man and his mother, she is and will always be the first woman in our lives. We love our Mommies.
• - We don’t prefer deep conversations about where the relationship is going.  Without much of an ado if we are with you, it means the relation is going someplace... that someplace could change with time. We allow time to decide the due course.
• - We when home from work seek peace and calmness for at least 10 minutes. We take time to settle.
• - We when say Yes, we mean Yes. When we say No, we mean No. We want you to understand that and not dissect every move we make and every word we say. We mean what we say. 
• - We want to surprise our women for their birthdays and anniversaries but a little help from their side about what they want would really help. We love to surprise you.
• - We don't remember dates.  Most of us do not remember the first time we looked at each other, the first time we touched or the first time we fought. If you want us to remember, remind us. We too busy remembering days and dates.
• - We want our space. We don't want to tell you what we do every second of the day nor do we want to know what you ate for lunch and how many bites you have had. We have more important things to take care of.
• - We want you to know that even if we are watching TV, playing video games, watching sports and when you are talking we obviously are listening even if you think we aren't. We love sports and listening to you.
• - We are slobs. We don't want you to tidy up after us. If everything is left on the table, let it be there. It makes it easier to find without the hassle of getting into drawers and cupboards. We are lazy.
• - We need and want our Boys' Night out where we can drink and just forget about everything else. We love our friends.
• - We can't interpret your silence. We don't get hints, not direct hints not subtle hints, neither can we read your mind. We want you to tell us in clear words what is it that you want. We are not psychologists.
• - We don’t like playing the guessing games, if you have something to tell us something that is bothering you; share it. We love to help.
• - We want you to know that if we are with you and look at another woman, that doesn't mean we don't love you. We are just programmed that way, we just to have to look. We love to appreciate beauty.
• - We forget; not just the anniversaries and birthdays but also bad ugly fights. We love to forget and forgive.
• - We don't like to talk about past nor discuss yours in excruciating details. So please let it be that way. We don’t dwell in past.
• - All of us men get jealous... we just don't want to show fearing to scare you away. We love you too. 
• - We fantasize... about, you know... a lot. Every other minute or so. We love dreaming.
• - We lie. It can be white lies, big ones or small fibs. We do, and all of us do. We want you to know (believe) that it is for your own good. We do it all for you.
• - We like to chase the woman of our dreams... but only till that time we deem fit. If it goes on for too long, we lose interest and if it is too short, we don't get the sense of achievement. We love pursuing.
• - We, well most of us would do and say anything, and i mean anything, to get you into bed and after that we would want you to forgive us as well. We also make mistakes; To err is to human.
• - We can sense when you are emotionally vulnerable... and sadly some of us prey on those vulnerabilities. Some of us are opportunists.
• - We want to be good at flirting. Some of us are while most of us are not. We flirt too.
• - We hate shopping unless it is for us. We love our gadgets.
• - We gossip... but will never accept it but we do. We love gossips too. 

Disclaimer - The post might have missed to include a great much detail on stuff that makes men who they are, the above perspective is from an individual who is single and not having gone through the landscapes of Marriage where nuances such as the above will continue to elicit a limited response as connoisseurship keeps shrinking.