The Psychology involved in winning her, a perspective to take note of...

Well here it is my own recipe for winning her heart but cutting short the chase and ending up with her.

First understand this, a women's heart is a room locked from outside and the key thrown away in the ocean. You can’t anyways find it or open it with sure shot key. You will have to find a duplicate by trying every possible key in the process; simply put, you will have to keep trying and trying and once you enter her heart you are there forever (as long as you are a good resident).

Now the tough part, opening her heart with the key you discovered after several hit and trials is just the beginning. You are not sure what’s in the room (her heart) whether you have anybody already residing in it (her first love or an ex or something else) so be prepared for any eventuality or any sudden discoveries or face hitting situations. But be happy to know that you have opened the room (her heart) and there lies a million opportunities to make her yours.

I always have believed in one thing, getting to have her attention is the most difficult part. She might like your attire, your attitude, your smile, your humour, your confidence or your everything or anything. So always be at your best and always and i mean always be yourself, no one knows what might catch her eye but once you get it i should say we cracked the code to her heart.

Now to the cheat codes

Aged 18 to 23 - the girls falling under this age group are all daddy girls. You should tread carefully not for the fear of getting roughed by her dad but by falling into confusion of understanding her. Simply put they are themselves confused over many a million issues like discovering their womanhood, menstrual cycles, mood swings, physical growth, and misunderstandings among their friends over many issues which might even be about some blue eyed bloke.

The key is to be sensible and shower love just as equal or more than her dad does, be there for her for everything even for conversations she can’t have with her father. Treat her like a lady and never discount her based on her age, girls basically at this age are usually treated as kids if not growing adults by their parents and the ones around. Primarily their parents fear presenting or addressing them as adults for their own reasons. Pamper her; the universal rule to any girls heart, be kind with words treat her royal and i guarantee she is yours life.

I have scores more instructions but it is always good to have a head start in the race to win her heart. End of which always be honest and never try to take advantage of her vulnerabilities.

Aged 24 to 26 - the women falling under this age are been there and heard that kinds with less or no actual experience of handling true love or a charmer like you (that is if u believe you are one). All you need is confidence and chivalry. Here they enter the phase of dreaming and searching for the prince charming kinds and i should tell you being the usual you will not work. Up the ante and i promise her heart is yours. So as the fables go be her prince charming save her from the other not so charming boring guys. First thing to win her attention is being a wise ass and being funny and honestly if none of these traits are yours then i am sorry you don’t belong to read this blog.

At this age she is past her regular feminine issues she is now bothered with settling down with her prince charming or someone near to that. Play fair treat her like she is your princess build your castle around her. Show her that her future with you is secured and she will always be your princess and you guys will live happily ever after.

As again i do not want to stress more on how to win her but will again advice you, you break her heart here and the scar remains forever and coming from such a similar situation i understood that injuries heal but scars remain.

Aged 27 and more - The women here are the toughest to convince. They don’t just have their room locked from outside but also from the inside, even if you end up opening the door (her heart) she will still have to get convinced to allow you in. Simply put you end up either as hers for life or out forever or rarely a friend till days end.

The rules of the game change here and none of the cheat codes work. All you have to do is be yourself and pray for her to open her heart.

But again honesty, chivalry, respect towards her, respect towards fellow beings, responsibility, taking control of situations, being the first to jump the gun, first to initiate, humble, generous, family oriented and other such traits can immensely help you impress her to open the lock from inside.

Just know one thing here they are been there, done that and even burned him kinds so whatever you try or do always have noble intentions and above all be patient and voila they are yours for life.

We have many more to cover but honestly don’t eat what you can’t digest.

Disclaimer - The above are a personal perspective and in no way are an intention to hurt the sentiments of any individual or gender addressed as in the post.

And to all who wish to follow the above, please consider this to be a cheat code to her heart than to break it.

A Woman's heart for dummies

My posts have been nothing but an out and out shout to the world about how difficult it is to be in a relationship and how impossible and difficult women are and how near to equal mission to mars is about winning her heart.

But on the contrary below are my opinions and experiences that i think are more than needed to make her yours and win her heart.

1) Be sensitive to her feelings and emotions and more importantly to her moods swings whether they be from a nail polish spill or a stained dress or from pre to post or during the menstrual cycle.

2) Always listen, try and open your ears to whatever she speaks and mind you women have the best of memories of conversations that happen or have happened.

3) Speak the truth, try your best to not lie. If you cannot but have to lie always make sure your lie sticks good. But eventually and very mysteriously women over the time can sniff your lie out of you and your skin. So always try to be honest even it means sleeping on the couch.

4) Support her, always be there to support her whenever she needs you and trust me you will be surprised to the extent she can go to keep you happy.

5) Understand her, try to understand and reason with her with the best of your abilities. They might not be right all the time but reasoning to help her understand your opinion is advisable rather walking away from the situation.

6) Correct her, never point a mistake of hers before family or friends. If you find her doing a mistake it does mean she is ignorant of the same. Women aren't like men they bend the rules but rarely do they break them.

7) Give her space, doesn't necessarily mean to ignore or avoid her but giving space to let her be herself. Women say they need space but unlike men they don't lurk in corners declaring it as their private space. They want you to be with them even if they demand for space.

8) Give her the independence, allow her to be and do whatever she feels comfortable doing. If she wants to be career oriented let her be, if she wants financial freedom allow her.

9) Do not compare her to your mother. Period and no matter what.

10) Do not be predictive, surprise her, get to do whatever it is to prove that you are not one of those run off the mill duds.

11) Remember dates, i know we suck at this but trust me remembering them will earn you more than you have bargained for.

12) Compliment her, the very essential ingredient for any successful relationship. Just know this whatever she is like and however she dresses or presents herself is only to please you and a honest compliment here there wont kill you.

13) Gifts, doesn't necessarily mean you have to splurge insane or considerable amounts to gift her. Most of the women believe in simple yet beautiful things. Give her gifts occasionally and trust me a single rose can also has the potential melt her.

14) Occasional outings, take her out occasionally else on weekends. it allows her to breathe from the daily busy life of hers and believe me it helps her heal emotionally and physically when she spends time alone with you. This also helps you to avoid confronting her during her mood off moments.

15) Cook for her, even if you cant cook a full course meal at least try to help her in the kitchen.

16) Give her priority, every women craves to be her mans number one priority.

17) Open yourself, discuss your problems, irrespective of what they are. trust me women are more sane and smart when solving problems.

18) Hang out with her, make her your beer buddy, or a sports company or a pillion rider or anything that you normally have your male friends for. Occasional hanging out with women is fun, trust me on this.

19) Get emotional, open up your emotions with her, cry to her and trust me no one you know except her can cry along. Women involve themselves emotionally more effectively than you can imagine.

20) Get romantic, flirt with her, tease her, play around, talk your heart, sing with her, dance with her, cuddle her, hug her, arrange for special dinners, or drives, surprise her and more importantly show her your love than mere saying you love her. Note actions speak louder than words.

End of the day men will be men and women vice versa but having to follow at least a couple from the above can help solve the assumed complexities of a relationship and more importantly break the different theories that women are complex beings and are difficult to understand.

Considering this as a manual for reference will take no where but to your grave, follow it and practice for a better you and a better her in building a better relationship.

Epilogue: A little emotional You, sensitive You and a sensible You is all what it takes to win her heart.

Qualities of a perfect man? yay yay

As in the usual and given the way I spend my time when idle, I surfed the net and have found quite a few interesting studies and opinions on qualities that make a man perfect. While referring to this get perfect or defect guide, I remembered one such sentence from somewhere which said ‘there is no such think called a perfect man, you will have to compromise’ so I shout out to all the women out there ‘what just happened to the compromise part’. 

Anyways coming to this study, it was published as a general perspective from a couple of thousand females who defined what qualities they think are of a perfect man.

The qualities of the perfect man according to a study are as below and I have with great difficulty tried to compare them to myself to see where I fit in

1. Six feet tall – Nearly there with half an inch less than six feet, if such a discrepancy is considered then it’s a YES

2. Muscly, toned and athletic – my BMI is 24.4 and it says am normal weight, if she still insists I can drag myself to a gym once in a while

3. Brown eyes – Yes, but confused with why so specific with the eye colour.

4. Short dark hair - Yes but with a few grey strands, will dye if she insists.

5. Educated to degree level - Yes

6. Earns more than you – I don’t mind she not working or she earning more than me. If she actually earns more than me and she is very particular about me earning more than her then I will do extra jobs.

7. Earns 48,000 pounds a year – That is pretty big number when converted to INR, I can match that in INR per month

8. Drives an expensive car – Please define expensive

9. Jokes around and has a laugh – Yes and as long as am not asked to be a joke

10. Sensitive when you are upset - Am sensitive all the time, I cry sometimes.

11. Tells you he loves you only when he means it – I Love you

12. Admits it when he looks at other women – Seriously, I don’t think she can handle such a honesty

13. Wants a family - Yes

14. Rings mum regularly - We in India actually live with our parents

15. Non smoker – Yes

16. Drinks beer or lager – Been 68 days now, but can start if she insists

17. Gorges on meat – Am a vegan and will not compromise, please an exception.

18. Dresses smartly and is stylish – I think I do

19. Enjoys shopping – if that is for myself

20. Gets ready in about 17 minutes – Never kept track but I think I do, and it applies to you too and what’s with this 17 again

21. Clean shaven – Always a Yes

22. Smooth chest – Pretty impressive way of making me go through the pain of waxing

23. Can swim – I can stand in most of the pools without drowning, again what is that have to do being perfect. Weird.

24. Can ride a bike – Owns a classic added with a couple of accidents

25. Can change a tyre – My mechanic does that for me

26. Watches soaps – the only soap I know is a bath soap

27. Enjoys watching football – Don’t we men like sports.

28. Holds a driving licence – How can we drive an expensive car and own a bike without a licence in the first place and btw I still have to apply for one. 

For what all i know, a relationship always works if it is between individuals who are perfectly imperfect.